Six reasons why this paper’s argument MOVES me to think in new ways about its object and its subject.
It Gives You Wings
1. "Our nation dances to the beat of a fast drum." This metaphor creates astonishing imagery and makes me want to know what they're going to be talking about.
2. Relaying the significance of their arguments back to their first claim. Example :"red bull drinker can charge through life. it is an embodiment of power, strength and domination - characteristics appropriate for a country considered the strongest in the world."
3. Relating argument to instances people will be able to relate to(needing energy for busy lives)
4. Using questions to connect with the reader.
5. Personal statements supporting arguments.
6. Lots of examples with descriptions explaining an argument.
Apple's iPod: I've Got the World on a String (Shaped Earphone Chord)
1. "the iPod has become a cultural icon, itself symbolic of the desire to have the world at one's fingertips in a world of media oversaturation" Great claim and interesting point makes me want to continue reading.
2. Specific examples create great imagery.
3. "slimmer than a deck of cards" Nice metaphor
4. Future predictions are interesting.
5. broad to specific intro works
6. being able to create personal media is a great point that seems to be pushed aside most of the time.
It Gives You Wings
1. "Our nation dances to the beat of a fast drum." This metaphor creates astonishing imagery and makes me want to know what they're going to be talking about.
2. Relaying the significance of their arguments back to their first claim. Example :"red bull drinker can charge through life. it is an embodiment of power, strength and domination - characteristics appropriate for a country considered the strongest in the world."
3. Relating argument to instances people will be able to relate to(needing energy for busy lives)
4. Using questions to connect with the reader.
5. Personal statements supporting arguments.
6. Lots of examples with descriptions explaining an argument.
Apple's iPod: I've Got the World on a String (Shaped Earphone Chord)
1. "the iPod has become a cultural icon, itself symbolic of the desire to have the world at one's fingertips in a world of media oversaturation" Great claim and interesting point makes me want to continue reading.
2. Specific examples create great imagery.
3. "slimmer than a deck of cards" Nice metaphor
4. Future predictions are interesting.
5. broad to specific intro works
6. being able to create personal media is a great point that seems to be pushed aside most of the time.
Six reasons why I am inert and UNMOVED by this paper’s argument.
It Gives You Wings
1. 2nd paragraph is very assertively written to the point that it becomes repetitive and difficult to concentrate on anything but the words Red Bull. It takes away from the arguments within the paragraph.
2. Obviously stating the meaning behind Red Bull's slogan makes me disinterested.
3. Reasons of support for the "american's are stressed" argument seem too narrow. It can be expanded to a bigger picture of life, not just work and family. Life is stressful, and limited examples lead the reader to think those are the only causes of stress.
4. The door close argument can be great but is a little confusing. Needs a little more explanation to relate back to the fact that red bull creates instantaneous results like we want.
5. Personal experiences are packed into one paragraph.
6. The last sentence of the essay is the start to a great conclusion but the rest of the paragraph lacks significance because you are just restating things you've already said instead of expanding your argument to a greater thought.
It Gives You Wings
1. 2nd paragraph is very assertively written to the point that it becomes repetitive and difficult to concentrate on anything but the words Red Bull. It takes away from the arguments within the paragraph.
2. Obviously stating the meaning behind Red Bull's slogan makes me disinterested.
3. Reasons of support for the "american's are stressed" argument seem too narrow. It can be expanded to a bigger picture of life, not just work and family. Life is stressful, and limited examples lead the reader to think those are the only causes of stress.
4. The door close argument can be great but is a little confusing. Needs a little more explanation to relate back to the fact that red bull creates instantaneous results like we want.
5. Personal experiences are packed into one paragraph.
6. The last sentence of the essay is the start to a great conclusion but the rest of the paragraph lacks significance because you are just restating things you've already said instead of expanding your argument to a greater thought.
Apple's iPod: I've Got the World on a String (Shaped Earphone Chord)
1. Starting off with facts instead of your own words claiming your argument doesn't motivate me to read on.
2. Tendency to list.
3. Supportive arguments to initial claim are not very clear.
4. word choice weakens arguments for example, hipness, cool, indie..the mass use of words in air quotes becomes in-affective because it is being over-used.
5. Conclusion starts off stating another argument and is over a page long...
6. Needs to be brought full circle back to original claim.
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